Year II

After a fairly unsuccessful Summer holiday and a rushed homework assignment due to my own lack of control and organisation, Second year begins.
This summer has calmed me down alot, I feel much less emotional about certain things and I really doubt the Academy is going to bug me this year, I needed to let my experiences of first year (good and bad) settle inside me.

My priorities are simple. Keep my head down, learn what I need and get the fuck out… whilst doing this I intend to keep my nose out of other people business and If I don’t like something, try and adapt to it, change it, or tolerate it. I wont waste this. not like I did last year, Ive made a commitment. financially and career wise, Ive put last year behind me, It’s time to move on, and get what I want. I just need to keep quiet.

It’s gonna be hard though.

The End Begins…

It’s been difficult finding time or energy to reflect again recently, Dying for it is now over, it went very well as i recall and it was a very rewarding experience throughout the whole technical process the TSM team received very few notes… a sign of a job well done.

The set has gone and it’s all in the past now, and i was straight away tossed into the world of Stage Management (SM), If you have been following me on Twitter or paying attention to my facebook updates i have been very negative about the SM allocation from the word Go, But i admit i was wrong, I have thoroughly enjoyed the experience so far, my only regret is that i have been absent from the process from the very beginning and coming in almost half way through has been very difficult to grasp.

The toughest aspect so far is becoming familiar with the Opera, Cast and Props at such a late stage when most of the production team have already made an investment and familiarity with the Opera. I could have been more attendant and observant with the rehearsal process and notes during my TSM allocation, but that is easier said in reflection as i was very busy during Dying for it and It’s also a bit unfair to be expected to not give 100% during each allocation due to thinking about the next. Its a good experience though as during professional employment- considering im lucky enough!- i should be always thinking forward to the next show, but in a reflective learning environment it isnt very useful…

The best way to have managed this would be to be more present during the showcall downtime- which i ended up attending rehearsals for anyway so I’ve done all i can given the circumstance and hopefully schedules will be alot more forgiving in future.

However after seeing a full run of the show and a week’s worth of propping and dipping in and out of rehearsals i have become more familiar and feel more useful to Calum and Gillian, Still i am not confident to fully commit myself 100% to this process as im still afraid I might step on someone’s toes over something an ASM at this stage should know better.

This is fairly uncharacteristic for me as i usually run into something with guns blazing but i have enormous respect for the production team in this show and i really do not want to make a fool of myself as it will most certainly make the process alot more difficult.

A few words on my negativity towards Stage Management as it seems to have been misconstrued by my peers and lecturers especially. Ive been very selfish with my feelings towards starting this allocation. I do know that Stage Management isnt for me, but i do know it’s something that suits me quite well…

I have worked in various SM roles at the Byre and toured as an ASM with Mull Theatre and I have enjoyed them all immensely but i have never worked on something as large and complex as an opera before so the prospect seemed very daunting, especially since i do not appreciate opera to a level i am happy to with it as of yet. Also at the Academy there seems to be a lot of negativity when people are in the brunt of SM. long hours, tough directors, not enough workspace or time all contribute and because SM is the last of my first year allocations i have had this build up and collection of negative emotions all attributing to a general fear of the hard work to come. In all honestly though, It’s just as fun as any other SM role i have done in the past, and it is all about how you approach and handle yourself and keeping positive to remain focused and enjoy yourself- as being negative really affects attitude and work which is fairly apparent when it comes to one of the other ASM’s i am working with.

Stage management is good though i you have the correct frame of mind… It really takes you to different places and situations everyday, It’s consistent and challenging all the time I really could do Stage Management for the remainder of the course, but unfortunately It’s not why I’m here, and i want to make the most of this allocation while i can.

Sadly, time is running out and ive only had/ getting one tutorial and i would like as much feedback as possible, but i understand how and why that is, especially due to my apparent lack of interest before i began, and i humbly apologize as i feel i have now shot myself in the foot. and i hope i can make amends, as i have been addressed as an ‘’LX guy’’ for a while now and it is affecting peoples perceptions now. I would really appreciate being referred to as an ASM for the duration of this allocation as otherwise i will just feel like i am going through the motions…

”In the End? Nothing ends Adrian… Nothing Ever Ends.”

Now that ive got the seemingly negative post out the way I can continue analyzing my learning the way I intended to- As i got a very welcome afternoon and evening off. And sitting back after releasing the tension and strain on my mind from my last post i can now focus and think about my performance thus far. It’s just a shame ive missed out on some quite strong emotive blogs this past week- and It’s too difficult to faithfully execute these feelings in the past tense. It also stands as a perfect example of the on going debate on whether the Academy puts on too many show’s over classes- Which is another topic entirely.

Aside from going through the motions of set building and tweaking this week Simon from workshop has given me lessons on some of the power tools and workshop techniques and most of all Steve has endeavored to fit in as much teaching as he possibly can.

I got a healthy practice session on using Vectorworks software and short tutorials on given situations when required- such as Deads and more help with automation… Yet each time It’s almost gotten in the way of the production on stage- The enormous pressure that our TSM is under get’s added to when her crew seem to disappear because they are being taught things and It’s not perfect in any scenario- i commend Steve for the support he has given all of us during this production and I’m fairly sure he is also feeling the brunt of the production Behemoth not stopping for anything.

So I am very happy to be getting the education i was after- albeit in small doses- but there is nothing that can immediately solve that problem just now.

Aside from tiredness and personal life issues (which was what the previous blog title was referring to) ive been quite impressed with my performance thus far- the team dynamic- despite now we are down to 1:2- is still great, despite the knock on effect that stress levels have been affecting us (mentioned in previous post) we remain strong and overall happy.

There are up’s and downs of course but i am really enjoying this as much i was at the beginning after having some time to FINALLY reflect- granted i had the weekend- but i want to forget that.

In terms of the recurring theme right now of my specialist choice… It is remaining to be difficult… looking around at the LX ”allocatee’s” while working on stage I have been very glad i have not been on LX again this time round- their work seems very static, tense and boring.

Yet I STILL want to do LX… and im yet to meet Simon and all my closest Peers are choosing electrics. but It just seems so tedious in the academy. so TSM is still winning me over right now…but time is running out. and I’m currently still playing both sides. (shut it)

When Two Worlds Collide…

Tah. Dah…

So forgive the lack of bloggage lately- i meant to- i wanted to- but academy productions schedules stretch you too thin enough as it is that to find time for a decent reflection is nearly impossible. In no way is that a complaint. It’s just a fact.

The really sad thing is that i had alot to Blog about… i really did.

The day after the set was completed if you asked me how i felt- i would have replied with something along the lines of ”Empty” yet i had no time to reflect on that. now the feelings running through me that day are patchy and mostly gone.

It’s going to be really hard to describe- but when such a big job was over- there was no opportunity to stand back and admire or reflect. instead we were just cleaning, taping and tweaking until the long hours of the night… The next morning i came in feeling unattached and loathing towards this set… sure the jobs needed done. but you dont start arranging a newborn babys funeral as soon as it’s born.

The process of this show hasnt halted once, as a learning experience it’s had no opportunity for reflection.

Look at the pictures above ^ isnt that amazing? look at what WE built in only 4 days!! It’s bloody fantastic. but unfortunately at the time these feelings of success and achievement have been soured by long days, doing 2 minuite jobs which ended up taking three quarters of an hour because they were being done in the dark and a team with growing tension due to tiredness and lack of organisation.

Louise has done a fantastic job… but my god is she stressed out. her stress affects Madeleine and I and that then backfires onto her and thats not fair, how does our TSM cope with these stressful moments? why don’t i know the answer to this? Everything is happening too fast.

Why do these jobs have to be done in the dark? why can’t schedules reflect a learning institution rather than the ”real world”?

Must find answers. this blog has been the hardest one yet.

Keeping Cool, Keeping Busy and Where the F*ck is that Drillbit?

Just a short entry tonight as im Shattered after a fairly average day…

Sadly there was alot of standing around doing nothing, yet i wasn’t granted permission to play about with the automation, instead all i had to do was count bits of conduit. nevermind. Despite the standing around today It was fairly successful in conclusion. an entire LX rig went up, all the masking was flown, some more platform levelling went on, rebuilt the pit, flew the first bit of set, rigged some more hoists, built some treads on the flyfloor and then some.

There was only one burning issue on stage today, and lo and behold it revolved around scheduling. It affected alot of us in different ways- but when you come in and get told you should finish between 5 and 6, then get told 7ish. then get offered a half hour dinner break in order to get out before 7 and then you stay close til 9 anyway.

I wasnt too bothered by this, but like I said  it affected alot of us differently- our TSM seemed a little tense today- there was some eye rolling at us, some double standards happening about breaks and getting time off for Doctors appointments or birthdays etc. It’s yet to affect me and I am keeping my PMA.

The best action plan is to remain calm and make sure we take our full allotted break times. We need breaks for a reason. and lets face it, during Panto and Opera 2 very rarely did the ”let’s skip dinner and get home early” promise ever work? no.

Steve has remained very optimistic and he raised a very good point this morning- ”look around… It’s all about to change” He is absolutely right.

By this time tomorrow alot of the set will be up in the air and i am really excited.

Off to relax now- tomorrow should be a more entertaining Blog.

P.s Martin: instead of talking about my blog to others when im not around- why dont you leave a comment this time…?

To Be Confirmed…

It’s Saturday morning…

Ive just crawled out of my greasy sheets of student life and  i have nothing better to do on my day off from the academy than write about the academy… what a life i lead…It’s very cold,  raining so hard It’s like the earths last day to cleanse itself yet It was sunny about 3 hours ago and i can see a small patch of blue sky over to the east…

It’s almost like the weather cant make up it’s mind.

Which is where we reach the poorly constructed link to what i want to discuss. I cant make up my mind.

I intend to cover the very basic pro’s and con’s of each specialism from which i must choose one for the remainder of my student career and possibly my life career. Im going to focus on LX (lighting, sound and electrics) and TSM (technical stage management)

Im pretty certain i wont choose SM (Stage Management). but i have a whole SM allocation to bleed through in just over three weeks time, so there will be plenty of opportunity to reflect on my relationship with SM, so it’s fairly logical i just discard it for this entry.

Before i continue with the main event i’ll quickly recap the final day of our prep week for the set fit up…

Not much happened today. and in stark contrast to my rather chipper mood the previous day- The final day of this week certainly tried to test my good spirit. I was bereft of my Filty Assistant as she was in Norway being smelly… so i got an opportunity to work with the others on my allocation more closely, and there were alot of bad moods circulating and it really tested my good faith towards the end of the day.

I spent the greater bulk of the morning looking out a sharktooth gauze, hanging and flying it solo, while helping out on the grid with some minor adjustments to the bridle lines holding our main platform, again solo.

During this time when the others were looking out blacks and clearing the stage alot of tension mounted- i was not present so i have no right to comment- but there was a balance of frustrations in the team- such as being unhappy about being told how to do simple tasks over and over, the change of schedule realising we would only get a half day in the ATH and some kept quiet and didnt say much at all. the atmosphere was stale. but it didnt dampen me im happy to say, I was more than eager to work wherever and just as happy i got a chance to work the morning solo as i missed out on what may have been a frustrating couple of hours.

We all get different experiences, I guess I just got lucky this time round. The afternoon was spent in the Chandler helping Calum Rig for the second show coming up- it was quick and painless, and i enjoyed myself.

Heres a few more in progress shots to add.

So Pro’s and con’s

LX PROS

• It’s the reason i applied for the course
• It’s got the most jobs available when i graduate
• I am really keen to learn electrics and power.
• Allows me to follow a career path i have admired for many years
• Learning to operate and rig complicated movers would help me overcome alot of challenges i have in my current employment
• there is a new lecturer who seems very promising
• My closest peers are going to be choosing LX

LX CONS

• I have not enjoyed LX in the Academy so far
• In one year i have not leanred anything i didnt already know
• So far i have seen no evidence of experiment classes with LX
• There is a pointless divide between lighting designers and Production electricians
• I am yet to meet the new lecturer
• I feel i can get the quality of learning i require on advanced day courses after i graduate

TSM PROS

• It’s always different and presents alot of opportunities
• Promises to be closer to workshop which is something i enjoy very much
• I currently enjoy the TSM enviroment in the academy
• Features Automation which is something i am very keen to learn
• Industry is currently crying out for Automation technicians
• Promises a unique Learning experience which i am not likely to have just by working as a casual

TSM CONS

• Second year TSM’s dont seem to be enjoying themselves alot of the time
• Depending on show TSM can be very tedious and samey
• Dying for it may be the best TSM opportuinty i am likely to receive in the academy
• Not physically fit enough sometimes
• I struggle with simple things like knots
• My confidence could cause accidents
• Not likely to get as many jobs as LX

All lists subject to change.

now…. Saturday….

Filthy Assistants, Pit Falls, Desperate Dan’s Chin, Treading Carefully and Progress.

Hurm…

When was the last time I Blogged? I can’t remember and i would feel no satisfaction in looking back to find out. Why the sudden gap in Blogging? In truth It may be laziness. Because alot has happened this week and the ball really started to roll today- The Week has been fairly slow at times- there have been some crew issues, some tumbles and also My automation test didnt go so well- and i have itchy fingers to have a practice again for a resit…

I was over confident- but i dont think it’s a flaw- just something I need to be aware of… I got thrown by a few things which never occured my mind, and it’s something i havent experienced in a while… A notable reflection that whenever i get a shock, or something doesnt go my way, i don’t react well and i start to panic and make mistakes- Perhaps I should double check my confidence and think twice and approach a situation more logically in future, but hold onto my Drive to an extent. Luckily I didnt get such a Knockback during any of the rigging onstage this week- because thats a matter of life and death in some instances.

Lets begin with the absolutely Fantastic set we are currently building- Here is a photo of it;

Please note the ”floating” stairway (approx 300kg) at the back of the set and the 2 metre wide hole in the ground…

I am really chuffed to have the opportunity to help build this set It’s sure to be a menagerie of wonderful experiences. And it’s also playing a large part in my decision making for my choice between TSM and LX as this MAY(must heavily emphasis that) be the best TSM opportunity i get at the academy, ive heard the venue technicians describe this as the best set the Academy has had in almost ten years and even our TSM lecturer is really excited by it- not suggesting  he is never excited before he reads this- all im saying is after 13 years you would imagine you may have seen all thats possible on one stage!

This allocation may tick all my TSM boxes that i feel i want- I am also getting alot of playtime in the workshop which i heavily enjoy- and i might still get my chance at LX… although, to be honest, I am not missing LX right now… I still have a desire to learn more… but the thought of going through the motions of another LX allocation at the academy is gut- wrenching.
But i still haven’t met Simon or seen his way of working but i feel right at home where i am now…

I am still encountering a few issues with this allocation this… im still not convinced of the dynamic of the crew- it’s very evident that there are very mixed experiences and skills- but i think thats a great thing, but sometimes It’s hard for us all to get up and go because none of us are confident enough to crack on without supervision… and in all fairness do you blame us? it’s an epic set and there are alot of things we haven’t done before! but I am getting more and more comfortable and feeling closer and closer to my cohorts everyday… the whole process is beginning to feel organic and it’s fantastic, and we have yet to have a single fall-out. I know I am going to learn alot this term.

I have also formed a really close working relationship with one of my team members and It’s a pleasure working with her- we are both keen and interested in the same job’s and when working together we really bring the best out of eachother. I wont name any names though but i’ll give you a clue:

My Filthy Assistant…

While i work great with everyone else who have all contributed well to the tasks given, with my Filthy assistant we get jobs done surprisingly well and fast together where we would usually struggle on our own, and I am really impressed with it. I always thought of myself as a solitary worker which would have been a problem in this industry, but I feel a great sense of teamwork this week and im feeling pretty happy about it. I only hope that our dynamic together infects the whole group and we really will become team awesome. and im looking forward to pairing up with other team members in future to share or test a similar dynamic… I havent felt this much cameraderie before and Im hoping its because I have become more approachable and pleasant to work with and this is the result- as before- and especially during the collaborative project where i was VERY selfish- I’d like to know how my peers feel around me and if they have noticed any difference. I have aimed to be more laid back and open and i think i have been doing so this term quite well… please comment.

Anyway i am nearing my 1000 word limit i give myself:

Aims and Actions and whatnot:

1. Document more and be more reflective in my learning.
2. Show evidence of 1 on here.
3. Remain positive and enjoy being with my team.
4. make the most of this allocation
5. continue to examine my specialism decision.

Heres a few ”In Progress” shots of the stage so far… Thanks  for reading and Goodnight.

Axis’, Jaffa Cakes, Knots and Farting.

Another two good days at the Academy, I have learned many thing’s…which bodes well.

The new LX Lecturer has started- i have yet to meet him, but teeveedee claims he is a god. either teeveedee is coming out of the closet or the new Lecturer is going to make my specialism decision even harder… I am really looking forward to meeting Simon, and i must admit Im rather excited to hear what he has to offer.

Steve is making a really good job at making my life difficult. not because of his wind issues, but the fact that i feel right at home on the TSM allocation right now, and i feel like i might do quite well with TSM if i stick at it. even though i am crap at Knots… except for this one:

I must keep Practicing though… On the subject of Practice the past two days have been really great in terms of using the Automation System, Steve is giving us a great balance in terms of teaching and playing, it really helps you experiment and remember  the software of the system, Ive been working through the checklist and im almost confident enough to be tested in my automation skills. At times i get distracted though, and a constant barrage of information sometimes switches me off, but ive really impressed myself with the Automation and i hope that my ”keenness” is evident when working during this module.

It’s been really rewarding learning something new and unique which is also another plus for this allocation. something which i feel i missed in my LX allocation for opera II.

John has also added a poll on Moodle where you determine your choice of specialism for the rest of my academic career. It suddenly seems very real now that i need to make a big decision soon. If you asked me a few months back. It would have been Electrics hands down.

If you have been reading my previous Blog entries you will understand the dilemma I am at now and ive made myself a few action points for the following few weeks.

• Stay Keen and Positive
• Seek Peer advice
• Seek Lecturer advice/ feedback
• Enjoy the ride and follow my heart at the end

If I follow these four points i should hopefully be able to make the right decision.

Crossroads…

Shit the bed. Im already second guessing myself about my choice of specialism after one day.

Today we had a welcome class/tutorial on the Stage Technology Automation System, it was brilliant fun, and surprisingly simple to operate at the basic level, took masses and masses of notes too so im hoping to achieve a substantial comprehensive amount of ability on the system by the end of the week- just incase.

Im still in two minds though as i said, Im really worried about the LX situation at the Academy… Granted the new LX Lecturer does not start until tomorrow, today the LX crew sat around for the best part of the morning doing nothing and looking bemused… again there’s plenty of LX stuff to be getting on with just by looking around but much like my experience on opera II it was spent in the dark…(see what i did there?) i’m going to keep an eye on the new lecturer this term, and im going to be looking for some key factors to influence my decision…

Today was really fantastic though, using a system like the Academy’s automation system really inspires me, the possibilities are endless, and my Chosen career goal to move onto Large Scale productions and Arena scale Rock and Roll- I can really see the benefits of being fluent in technology and software which i expect to be an industry standard within the next 10 years or so- especially with the current cry for Automation technicians in the Industry- it’s beginning to shape up like an obvious choice.

Within one day of a TSM allocation i have left for home feeling inspired and excited. within almost a whole year of gasping for electrics experience i feel drained, uninspired and ive learned nothing new from previous knowledge on Electrics… I feel TSM can offer me alot more in this Institution than electrics right now… while i may choose a different path i’ll be going in the right direction, i really need to think more about  once in a life time opportunities rather than personal wants. Granted the new lecturer hasnt begun yet something extraordinary and different needs to happen in the Electrics dept this term.

I find it really interesting that within two whole days my mind has swayed so far- input and advice in comments would be much appreciated throughout this term about the matter- but laughing and joking aside on stage, im really going to milk this allocation for all it’s worth.

New Beginnings…

As of Tomorrow, I officially begin my Technical Stage Management (TSM) allocation, i say officially because i was in on saturday volunteering to lift the sacrificial floor, sweep the last dregs of Opera 2 away and mop up the rest of the carnage preparing to relay the floor for the behemoth of a set that is ”Dying for it”.

From what i have seen and heard the set has four levels- each to be safe enough for an actor to perform on, one level being a floating staircase heading all the way up to the flyfloor which the actors need to carry a £2000 coffin up…

What can i say? I’m really excited this time round, my only doubts are all predetermined and have yet to experience yet so i will not air them unless signs start to show, after all im only sitting on day 0.5 of this allocation, best not start on a downer!

I feel so lucky to be working as TSM on this show, as with a heavy heart i must admit it may be my last experience in  a TSM role for quite some time… I am fairly positive i am going to choose Electrics, ive said so form day one, my feelings havent changed, the only thing in my way is what the new Lecturer is like and what he is offering- which I have no doubt will be great considering the time it took to find him- and this allocation.

So it’s make or break from now on, who knows what this allocation will bring. it may even change my mind, but either way I’m going to seriously enjoy the hell out of this one.

Also partly due to the fact that I know I am going to hate every waking hour of Opera 3…Hopefully THAT will change.